All that remained in the refrigerator were condiments, a couple of yogurts, and a few stragglers in the veggie drawer. It was a good thing I’d placed a large online order for delivery.
A few days prior, I poured over the website, found everything we needed and wanted, and a few things that some well-placed marketing assured me we’d love, and added it all to my cart. Now all I had to do was wait for the truck to pull up to my door during our three-hour time slot.
Finally, the dog began to dance at the door and barked loud enough to let the whole neighborhood know our order had arrived. However, a glance out the window told a different story. There was no truck at the curb, but I did spy one a little further down the street, parked in front of a new neighbor’s house.
Our wait continued. We had to be next in line. Right?
The dog laid down for a nap.
No truck pulled up to our driveway.
Our time slot expired.
I picked up the phone.
What!? The store delivered our groceries to the new neighbor’s house?
I’d never met them, but I made up countless reasons why they accepted our groceries and never contacted the store to inform them of the mistake. My name was on the printed receipt, and they had to sign for goodness sake!
Despite my time invested in online shopping, the trust I placed in the store to get it right, and good intentions to have food in the fridge for my family, it was time to call for a pizza.
It’s a Familiar Workplace Story. A Boss or Team Member Takes Credit for Your Work.
While we waited for our pizza, my mind, like muscle memory, was reminded of what it feels like when people take credit for your work.
On more than one occasion, a boss took my work and presented it not as my brainchild or a team effort but as their own. Over the years, friend’s and coaching client’s experiences echoed my own. There are people in leadership positions everywhere who will take credit for your work without a second thought.
Sometimes it’s the manager or boss, and other times it’s your trusted teammate. You shared your idea with them, and before you know it, they’re casually bringing it up at a team meeting as if it was their own.
It’s frustrating. You’re angry, feel betrayed, powerless, and deceived. You had a social contract, put in your effort, and gave your trust.
Also, it doesn’t feel like a lot to ask. You do the work, come up with an idea or new approach, and want the credit. As we both know, that doesn’t always happen. What now?
Here are 5 Things to Do When Someone Takes Credit for Your Work
1. Don’t Let Your Anger Lead the Way Forward
Anger makes us take action and react from the point of emotion instead of rational thinking.
A coaching client of mine resigned when her boss took credit for her efforts. Two weeks later, during our next coaching call, no longer heated, she wished she didn’t let her anger consume her. She also missed her old team and job.
Remember: Find techniques that work to get your anger and frustration under control before taking action or having an aggressive conversation. Get a coffee, take a walk, stretch, or do a quick meditation. Do what works for you to put out the internal flames.
2. Practice Selective Venting
We’ve all been there. Angry, betrayed, and willing to tell anyone and everyone.
Early in my career, a friend had a new manager take credit for his work. He badmouthed this individual to the point it got back to the manager. Instead of the manager looking like an ass, it also reflected poorly on them. My friend, not the manager, got pulled from the assignment.
Remember: It’s ok to vent to your partner, mentor, or coach, but avoid powering up the rumor mill at work. Telling everyone that your boss or teammate stole your work won’t make you look like a superstar. Remain poised and don’t make a bad situation worse.
3. Let People Show You Who They Are
It’s my philosophy to trust first; however, when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
If you’re someone who’s been burned more than once by the same person when they take credit for your work, that’s on you. Before you disagree, think about it. Instead of making a change to avoid getting burned in the future, you put your hand back into the fire.
Remember: When someone shows you who they are, and you can no longer trust them to give you credit or acknowledge your efforts, make a change.
4. Have a Conversation
It’s often the default to avoid confrontation – especially at work. Many people believe that conflict always has to be an aggressive argument. That’s not the case.
Remember, people don’t change when they think that they can get away with their destructive behaviors. I worked with someone who took credit for others’ work for their entire career as they steadily moved up the ranks. They saw the people above them do it and assumed that it was just a part of being a leader.
Remember: Yes, it’s an uncomfortable conversation, but it doesn’t mean you should avoid it. Be rational, and stick to the facts instead of emotions. “When you presented the idea in the meeting, you didn’t share that we collaborated…”
5. Be a Role Model
We model our behaviors on the people we’ve worked for, read about in books, and were formative in our development. Take a moment to reflect on the people you model yourself on – are they credit givers or takers?
I’ll never forget Val. We had a strong culture, and her style was to empower the team while the default of the culture was to claw your way to the top as fast as possible. She was a role model for acknowledging team and individual efforts with both clients and senior leadership. Unfortunately, she didn’t last long.
Remember: No matter what anyone else chooses to do, you can be a role model for giving credit and elevating others. You can be someone who chooses to shine a light on other people’s contributions or who casts a long shadow.
Not gonna lie. When someone takes what’s yours, it stinks. However, what you do next matters.
I didn’t knock on my neighbor’s door, demanding our groceries. Demands rarely set things on a positive path. Instead, I worked with the company to understand what had transpired and how we could avoid a similar situation in the future. As an advocate for my needs, I chose to respectfully express my discontent instead of hoping for the best next time.
Remember: What seems like the worse thing ever, may only be the precursor to something good that flows from here. Don’t let someone else taking credit for your work be the end for you, but find a way to create a new beginning.
What would you add? What has worked for you when someone has taken credit for your work?
The post 5 Things to Do When Someone Takes Credit for Your Work appeared first on Alli Polin | Break The Frame.
